CH2 “Everyone gets along great, when there is no possibility of sex.” Seinfeld

Three weeks (of knowing her)—and it fells like a void inside of me; Her silence has left me gaping and I wonder what it means to “miss someone.” It must be exactly what I feel now; painful melancholy; sickening anticipation; every noise becomes irritating, even if it doesn’t exist; every smell or fact of life is meaningless; it is like you are just born, just now, but already grown up and consequently lacking the capacity to deal with everything that surrounds you;
Missing someone is not being empty on the inside. I stand corrected. It is in fact the inability to respond in a coherent way and function normally because a plentitude of emotions have invaded you on the inside. Missing someone paralyzes all of our emotions. It is the inability to differentiate fear from hunger, from pain, from thirst, from love, from sadness...
When I wake up the next day, I do find the usual good morning message. It comes a little later than usual but it’s there. My inbox and heart is full and happy again. I text her matter-of-factly to make sure the game is ok and than attempt to put some hours on that late case.
“That’s it?” she goes. “I am at a game, not dead.”
Indeed. I play along with a couple of nonsense texts, but I am reluctant to dig up the same whole for myself as I did the night before. I can do without the anticipation and fear that she may never respond again. I want to take the ‘advantage’ and run with it. I want to leave her stranded...I want shift in power...I want to play hard to get...I want to mess with her, play mind games...me, me, ME
“I kinda missed you you know, last night” I finally go, hoping to plant the roots of a guilt trip that can essentially give me the necessary leverage to become, justifiably so, the one in power. Naturally, like all women, I enjoy being begged. But instead, she goes: “I kinda miss you everyday silly.”
...And it is all it takes
I am disarmed, stupid with emotions. It is not the response I am looking for, yet it is exactly what she should say. She has successfully bridged the gap that started between us for the 17 hours I did not hear from her.